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From The Digital Sweatshop
The Music, Art and Travels of Alan D. Oldham a.k.a. DJ T-1000.

DJ T-1000 Rocks The Holy Land.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005



Back from Tel Aviv. Wow, what an exotic place. I'd never been there before and it wasn't what I expected.

I guess needless to say it's a motherfucker actually getting past customs, first of all. These people ask you all kinds of questions, like your parents names, who you know in Israel, how you met them, etc. Now I see where the USA is getting its ideas as far as Homeland Security, but America still isn't as bad as Israel...yet. I mean, we have a little thing that Israel doesn't, called the Constitution.

Don't we?

The city itself reminded me a lot of Mexico City. Same heat, same architecture, same dirtiness. Couldn't live there though; everything's in Hebrew with barely any sub-titles for foreigners. Only the streets have English underneath the Hebrew, not the businesses themselves.

It was also cool to see Hebrew characters tricked out in hyper-modern fonts.

The Israeli women are out of control. They own that town, I swear. They walk around the city like fertility goddesses. I haven't seen so many curves, hips, big tits and asses flying around in my life. A lot of the girls wear those hippie-style summer dresses, and their full hips make them sway in the breeze. I did see a few tall, traditional model and porno-types, but on the whole, Israeli women are sexy in that "let's have a zillion babies" way. These girls aren't Orthodox, either. I saw my share of thongs peeking up over low-slung jeans and shit.

You gotta remember that all young Israelis have to do two years in the army, so these chicks come out looking hot, just destroying shit.

Oh, and there are plenty of black people there too, Ethiopians and other Africans, as well as a few Americans.

The gig itself started off shaky. The promoters had lost their venue two days before I arrived and had to move the party to an outdoor venue. When we got there they were just setting up the DJ area at 2 am. The promoter tried to sway me by taking me to ANOTHER club down the street while his sound guys set up. It was wild. This club was more commercial and the chicks were just killin'. I think I made my bottom lip sore from biting it so hard.

Finally got on the decks at 3 am. I figure there were about 200 people there. I tore it up, if I do say so myself. The was a wall of girls right up front, screaming and dancing the whole time. About three-quarters of the way through, I dropped "I Wanna Be Adored" by the Stone Roses. The look of confusion on their faces was priceless. Soon as the drums kicked in, though, they went crazy. This one chick ran up to me, kissed me on the cheek, and ran off. I specifically asked them to record the set, but in the confusion of changing venues, nobody brought anything to record it with. Sigh, one more thing I have to buy.

Next day was beach time! My hotel was a block away from it. I was chillin' like Whitney and Bobby. The promoters picked me up late that night and took me to a club called Lima-Lima. They were playing hip-hop there. Chicks were hot, music was funky, and the promoters kept the alcohol flowing. A few people who were there the night before came up to me and gave me props. Stayed there for a little bit, then off to get some sleep before hitting the airport.

Ride back was hell, very hot and overcrowded, Tel Aviv-Milan-Berlin, but I managed. I know, poor baby. I flew Alitalia, which means they issued Northwest miles which I can use later.

Back in Berlin now. So beautiful and warm today. Global warming is real, I'm convinced. I remember when Al Gore was talking about it in the mid-'90s they scoffed. Now it's like 67 Fahrenheit or so in late September in Europe. Crazy.


A Quickie.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Hey. At an Internet cafe right now (the same one as in my last post), and the clock is ticking. Not much happening this week, everything is down after Popkomm. Doing lots of art and writing (my new comic which comes out early next year), very inspired by Berlin. Great design and graphics everywhere you look, even TV. Lots of good restaurants in Mitte and I'm trying to get to all of them =) Giaxia sent me a couple of Entertainment Weeklies that arrived after I left, oh my God, very welcome, indeed. I go to Tel Aviv this weekend (my first time in the Holy Land) and was invited back to Vienna in November (date and venue TBA). Will write more when I get back from Israel.


Mini-Rockers.

Monday, September 12, 2005



Here I am at this Internet cafe in Mitte. It's cool and cloudy today. This is the Berlin I know best. All those nice days were very strange. I liked them, though.

Everytime I come here, there's a German pop group on VIVA that catches my eye, like Blackmail or Die Happy (honestly, I'm more a fan of the lead singer's huge boobs and sexy amazon body than their actual music). Now there's this band called Tokio Hotel.

They're these little fucking mini-rockers, they can't be more than 12-13 years old. They're in full rock star drag, the eyeliner, the spiked hair, the black nail polish, the guitars, the poses, the attitude, the whole bit. Imagine a mini-Good Charlotte. I couldn't believe it. The guitars are as big as they are. You just know there's a bunch of 40 year olds behind them really playing the music, but they're so damn cute to look at. Like how do these kids go to school? All the other kids are probably jealous as hell so a normal school is out. They probably have tutors. It's really funny to think about. And the joke of it is, I like the song! A nice pop/rock tune. I don't know the name 'cause it's in German. Something about a monsoon, 'cause in the video, they're getting rained on. It's on power rotation on VIVA and VIVAPLUS, this song.


I'll Be Your Friend.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Went and saw Robert Owens and Adonis at Maria last night. 100% old-school Chicago. My friend got me on the guest-list. Pretty cool show, not too many people by Berlin standards, but you've gotta figure none of these younger kids even know who he is. It was laidback, though, not too crowded, not too much smoke.

Adonis opened. He played really slow, old-school style. His whole set was '80s. He broke out the "Theme From Midnight Express," I hadn't heard that played out since high school. The whole thing reminded me of the old Detroit parties at the "Y" downtown (where Ford Field stands today) or Cheeks out on 8 Mile and Schaefer.

After a shaky start (I was bored at first), Robert turned out pretty good. He sang all his Fingers Inc. hits with a live band: keyboards, bass, percussion, drummer, the works. He did "Tear Down The Walls," "I'll Be Your Friend," all the old tracks. Getting a live band seems to be the new craze. Westbam's on tour with a live band now. In fact he's playing tomorrow night, also at Maria.

I ran into Dan Bell and his girlfriend at the show. We had a nice talk, comparing notes and horror stories on the American scene. He's been living here off and on for five years or more. He was one of the first to move here full-time, actually. Hard to believe I've been knowing that guy for fifteen years, since the old Detroit days. He actually guest-hosted "Fast Forward" a couple of times. Too bad there's no tape on those shows.

I just dated the fuck out of myself with this post, didn't I? Oh, well, it's called character =)

Anyway, not much really happening today, just doing artwork on the balcony. Another beautiful day in Berlin Mitte.

PS: Speaking of old Detroit, as I was walking home last night along Chauseestr. it occurred to me: whatever happened to Derrick May? He did the fest that one year, and nothing. He just dropped off the map. I'm telling you, that Detroit fest is a soul-killer. Nobody recovers from that shit. One taste of putting it together and you're ready to move away.


Runaround Day.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

I took the train into Kreuzberg to meet with the Tresor people, particularly my agents, Michael and Vera. They're really looking after me with gigs. There's another one I may be up for, we'll see in the next few days. I'm hitting them with the new 12-inch demos after Popkomm.

Then my ubercool landlord made dinner (spaghetti) on the balcony and had a friend over. We were talking and he said that he had been in a pop band. I asked which band and he said Jeans Team. I knew that name, they were really hot back in 2001, that whole Electroclash wave with Peaches, Gonzales, etc. They were all on the same label, Kitty-Yo. They even had videos on VIVA-ZWEI (rip). He was amazed that I knew the band. I told him I see everything. He does video editing now, working on TV and Internet spots for one of the political parties here in Germany, the SPD. Really interesting guy. That's why I moved here, to meet interesting people outside of techno, and they're right here at the flat. Who knew?

Then I was picked up to go see the club I'll be playing next month, Kapital. It had been a boat party but the boat could hold only 100 people so they shifted it to a club (too bad, a boat party would have been nice if the weather holds up). Really nice place, a former bank, complete with VIP safe deposit room downstairs, like Tresor.

There was a reggae/dancehall party there tonight, the music was pretty cool, but I got the gist of it pretty quick so we split. Cute German women, though. They got some little thickies here. All that wienerschnitzel und sauerkraut und bier. Coke was a sponsor of the party and they were giving away free mix CDs at the door plus coupons for a free Coke.

I can't get over how nice it's been here in Berlin, I'm diggin' it.

Adeline's been going crazy getting ready for this art opening in Paris, she waits 'till I get here away from my main Mac to ask for a Pure Sonik logo for the flyer. Luckily, Giaxia sent her one from Chicago. Giaxia's just about tired of me. I bother her more from here than at home. Now she wants a Tresor one, I'm like Oh, my God. Tresor doesn't have anything to do with the art stuff! Just print the flyer already, lol.

I notice a trend, by the way, people booking me now want me to do original flyer art as well and expect me to just give it to them for free. Nope, guys, it's extra. Even for scans/downloads of existing work.

Not you, Adeline, but other people =)


Berlin Sights.

Monday, September 05, 2005

So I was on my balcony here, eating a bowl of cereal. It was a hot day and the balcony faces the sun, so sunbathing isn't uncommon here. The next-door neighbor came out onto his porch. He didn't see me there. His ass was showing. I just figured he was wearing a Speedo, you know, a male thong. He turned around and hello! Full frontal! Wow. You know how Sylvester the Cat would get an anvil dropped on his head and he'd shake it off? That was me. I quietly went in the house.

Truth be told, though, if I were hung like that guy, I'd wanna show it off, too. So much for the "white guys/small dicks" myth.

I was later told by my landlord that people from the former East Germany have no qualms about getting naked and it's quite normal for them.

Shit like that doesn't happen in America. =)


Vienna.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

What a beautiful evening here in gorgeous Berlin Mitte. I can't believe how great the weather has been since my arrival. I've been trying to enjoy as much of it as I can, though. 'Cause once the cool weather hits, it'll hit hard.

Played in Vienna last night. Small club, but, wow, were the people into it. It was my first time ever in Vienna and the people seemed well-primed for my arrival. I think it was my tightest set in a long time. The sound system was nice, the monitors were good and close. Mixer was an Allen & Heath 16-track board pressed into service for DJ use. The set was recorded for Play.fm Vienna and I hope to get a copy for myself to put up on puresonikrecords.net so everyone can enjoy it. Thanks to Flo and Chris for organizing the event, hopefully the first in a series.

Not much going on now. I'm down for a couple of weeks 'till I hit again in Tel Aviv. Never thought I'd be rocking the Holy Land. Really looking forward to that. First Bobby and Whitney last summer chillin' with Ariel Sharon, now me. =) My friends have been concerned about my going to Israel, but it seems like it's safer there than the USA at the moment.

I was watching CNN in my hotel room and this was the first time I'd seen the full effect of Katrina on New Orleans (I'd been consumed with moving and hadn't seen a TV in a few days). It's horrible, not only the people, but the city itself won't be the same again. It'll be like one of those ancient, submerged cities that they find off the coasts of Greece or Italy.

President Bush's complete indifference towards the mostly-black and working-class white victims still trapped in the city almost a week after the hurricane itself should come as no surprise to those familiar with the Right. If it had been corporate CEOs and Republican politicians trapped on rooftops and in the Convention Center, NASA would have invented a way to get to them right that second.

Oh, and I learned this week from Yahoo photos that white victims were plucky survivors, while black victims were bottom-feeding looters. Even under twenty feet of water, it's still the deep south.

Seems like the USA is taking some hard knocks these days. Add to that the death of Chief Justice Bill Rehnquist yesterday, a real Conservative icon, and most recently, the man who coronated George W. Bush into power after his loss of the 2000 election to Al Gore. No great loss there, as far as I'm concerned. Second only to the passing of noted racist (with a secret black daughter, mind you) Strom Thurmond on my hit parade of indifference. Too bad New Orleans wasn't full of Republicans last week, as a matter of fact. Like some kind of convention or something. Maybe they would have all washed out to sea.

That would have been nice.


We Have Arrived.

Thursday, September 01, 2005




Remember that old track on Industrial Strength?

Anyway, here I am in Berlin! What a night last night. Over 600 people on a Wednesday night at Maria. Despite a small bout of food poisoning from airplane food and jet lag, your boy still rocked it. I'm not the Last DJ On Earth for nothing =) God, what fun. Always good to see the familiar faces like Max from Tresor, Dash and Dry, Henk from Sender Berlin, and Pacou, who gave me a ton of new-release promos. Pacou was like "So when are you flying out?" I said, "I'm not! I live here now!" It felt good to say that =)

It's funny, I've got actual fans here too. This girl who was at my Tresor gig back in April had a babydoll T she made with my face on it. I'll try to get a pic of it. I might just manufacture those myself, the way she had it was very creative. But then again, if I did it, I'd be an egomaniac. =)

This guy also turned up with one of the "Detroit: Beyond the Third Wave" records for me to autograph (in case you don't know, I did the album cover art for it).

After a good night's sleep and a full recovery, I'm on the balcony now writing to you. Wireless internet, what a concept. Weather is great. Guess I'll get something to eat and then roam around, this is a whole new part of the city than what I'm used to.

Oh, if you got the newsletter, the link to the "Elektrofive" track was wrong. Cut and paste this link and you should be able to hear it:

http://www.puresonikrecords.net/mp3/ElektroFive.mp3

Off to Vienna this weekend. More news to come so stay tuned!